RRYLTAKESPHOTOS

The rain pours. And so is my feelings as it continue to flow in my heart, into my mind and now, unto the keyboards of my phone to you, my reader.

I am feeling devastated today for some reasons I cant fathom. Like sleeping last night thinking why Moi and Jason broke up? To waking up looking blankly at my ceiling then working myself to start the day with coffee. And then in the morning, I came late to work with only a minute past the time.. a minute and three seconds to be exact.

This day wasn’t a good day. I feel it at the beginning of the hour as it ticked but then it is June 1st, and me writing is the first of the good thing that is happening right now. Oh, Then another bad thing, our scheduled badminton hangout with friends got cancelled too. 🥹 See, my thoughts are getting messed up and the train of ideas keep on swimming in my mind. I think writing this is a good thing. Atleast it doesn’t overwhelm me now.

One thing I liked about rain, it is the time where my ideas flow freely. I find myself being calm when it rains. For me, the saying that, “when it rain, it pours” is truly an accurate metaphor. Right now, i don’t even know what to write first, how am i these past weeks? I cant even remember. My emotions do come and go. And i sometimes feel like getting professional help could be a good thing. Is it normal to be so down these past months, then feeling nothing the next, then overthinking, random anxieties and never ending loneliness keeps coming back. It is a never ending roller coaster for me. I think these started when my father got hospitalized. I guess almost losing someone does things to you too. I cant stop overthinking. Yes, I am a born over-thinker. I know that because I am a Capricorn but it gets worst now. Too worse it affects every decisions in my life.

As I feel the cold breeze through my skin, I cant deny the fact that I grew a-bit lonely these pandemic. Less interactions with people had caused me to be wary of crowds. I cant even have a decent group discussions with my workmates. I am with them but my mind sometimes doesn’t. I sometimes do things then forgot doing it. My memories sometimes get clouded too. Is this normal? I even grew quieter with my family too.

Fast forward to now, its June 29, almost a month after I write those first 2 paragraphs. Not the same day but feelings do stay. It is quite different now though. I feel a bit lighter now. Maybe my emotions do fit the seasons. Or it depends if I eat right and sleep enough? Who knows 🤷🏻‍♀️

Anyways, tomorrow is a no work day for me, I am contemplating whether I want to go somewhere or just stay at home. But this wanderlust is on and I do want to travel even for just a day. I’m thinking pf tagaytay 😊 or maybe just treat myself to a movie 🤔 i’ll just probably update you guys on my next writing. For now, just be reminded that days pass by and so are feelings. My sentiments last june 1st are quite different compared to today. But always remember to always hope for the best no matter what. Always try to seek for the rainbow at the end of each passing storm. You are awesome and you do great everyday. 😘

Lovelots,

Rryl 🌈